Isolation in Society: Something has happened in our society. There used to be a day and time where kids played outside more often, where families knew and relied upon households next door, and where it was normal to feel a sense of connection amongst neighbors. In thinking back to when you were a kid, did life in your neighborhood seem a bit more interactive and relational than your experience today? Did people trust each other more readily? Did passersby wave? Did you play outside without worrying about Megan’s Law registrants?

What happened?

I’m no big-wig expert by any means, but I wrote a group of short essays in a series entitled “Community Building 101” (pdf file), and I’d like to share them here. My take is that life is not just about the value of our homes, but the quality and value of the relationships we have - even in our neighborhoods. This series made an appearance in The Rancho Cordova Post and Sacramento Press.

Community Building Resources:

• 150 Things you can do to Build Social Capital
• The Citizen’s Handbook: A Guide to Building Community
• The Community Toolbox
• Public Conversations Project
• Community Building 101 Series (pdf)

Let me know if you have any insight, ideas or other resources to share. Feel free to comment below.

www.lundquistcompany.com/blog What Happened to our Neighborhoods?

Halloween can be a fun and bonding time for a community, but when it comes to trends I see in society, I’ll admit I feel concerned that traditional trick-or-treating is seeming to be outsourced to other local venues instead of experienced in the local neighborhood.

It’s become very popular in recent years for families to enjoy Halloween outside of a neighborhood setting. For one reason or another, people will travel to a big Halloween event at the local mall, enjoy a “Harvest Festival” at a church down the street, or find something else to do on the evening of the 31st besides spending time in the neighborhood. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying households should feel ashamed for leaving the neighborhood for one night. There is absolutely a place for a Halloween party elsewhere, a dinner with friends, and other fun and festive events. All I’m saying is it’s worth reflection to consider the outcome of the dynamic we’re seeing – residents being less involved in neighborhood life and kids going elsewhere to celebrate Halloween.

When we begin to replace traditional neighborhood events with other things outside of the neighborhood, or we get too busy or un-inspired to participate in community life, our neighborhoods begin to suffer. A sense of community in a neighborhood is about all the little things – waving to residents, talking to neighbors, watching out for crime, and even things like passing out candy. 

What do you think it would do for your community if more residents kept their lights on and passed out candy next year? Why do you think third-party Halloween events hosted outside of the neighborhood have become so popular in the past few decades? Feel free to share your thoughts.

www.lundquistcompany.com/blog Trick-or-Treating, Staying Home, and the Value of a Neighborhood

Most of the time these days, construction companies build what I dub a “courtesy porch”. It’s basically a slab of concrete that gets you inside and outside comfortably, but cannot really provide seating for a household or neighbors for that matter. A real porch is a place to foster community. It’s a place to sit, talk, laugh, wave to passersby, drink coffee in the morning, read a book after dinner, and invite neighbors to conversation. The great power of a porch is that it can be a gathering place without having to plan a dinner, and it provides an atmosphere to foster relationships without the intimacy of inviting someone into your home. 

Our society has changed dramatically from decades past. We have moved away from having a sense of connection in our neighborhoods to a pervading sense of isolation. It’s as if we bought into the notion that life is better when we keep to ourselves. So we come home from work, close the garage door as soon as possible to avoid contact with neighbors, and generally try to not bother relating to people around us. Our actions illustrate our belief that we no longer view our participation in the community as important or necessary.

But how is our isolation honestly working out for us? Is it really better for our families? Have our neighborhoods improved over recent years since people are living on the inside more than the outside? Are we safer and more secure?

In my trade I see new subdivisions built all the time and I pay attention to how they are marketed to the public too. The builders often promote the idea of “community” in their marketing package, yet ironically nearly everything about the design of the neighborhood is all about keeping people out of community. There is a garage for people to park in, a ridiculously large house that can contain all aspects of entertainment for a family, a low-maintenance yard so people don’t have to be outside and take care of their lawns, an HOA that handles community problems, and of course a tiny slab porch to bring it all together.

With a growing sense of disconnection in our society, revitalizing elements of traditional neighborhood design, such as the porch, can be very powerful for establishing a deeper sense of community in our neighborhoods. If we have a place to sit outside, it’s more likely that connection will emerge, right? When we move away from a “courtesy slab” to a traditional larger-sized real porch, we can begin to see how this simple adjustment in design can help provide a place for neighors to gather and build trust with each other. One of our biggest problems right now in current typical neighborhood design is that there is no common-ground place for neighbors to meet with each other. It’s either you don’t talk to people around you or you invite them into your home (most of us don’t like to have strangers over for dinner though). What if we were to encourage the use of a traditional porch so that residents over time can have a safe place to be casual and get to know each other before dinner and party invitations start happening? Could not this one practical design element assist us in getting to know our neighbors? Wouldn’t that be better for the strength of the community?

It’s amazing to think that how we construct things can actually prod us to build relationships with others, and in turn produce a stronger community – one that not only has pretty houses, but has connected residents. Yet the most important thing, whether we have traditional porches or not, is to be intentional in small ways about building relationships with people. If we want to be more connected in our communities and avoid the plague of isolation, then our posture must be to do something and get outside more often. Our community grows stronger when we do practical things like wave to neighbors, let the kids play in the front yard, invite a family to BBQ on the driveway, meet new residents when they move in, take regular walks around the block, or even do something very easy and natural – sit on a simple porch. 

My Porch Story: From “Courtesy Slab” to Community Hub:

My house was built nearly fifty years ago and unfortunately came with a “courtesy slab” porch, but that all changed about two years ago when I expanded a couple of garden boxes into a real traditional porch. Our porch gives us a reason to be outside and it’s been great to visit with people and invite neighbors to sit together. “C’mon up to the porch” is something I love to say. Here are some pictures of how the porch evolved.

Further Articles on the Front Porch:

• Wikipedia “Porch”
• “Restoring Community Through Traditional Neighborhood Design: A Case Study of Diggs Town Public Housing” (pdf file – very good)
• “A Room Without Walls: Rediscovering the Front Porch”
• Article by Keith Klassen, friend and local Realtor: “The Front Porch- Curtis Park, Sacramento and Beyond”

I hope you enjoyed the article. If you have any thoughts to add about porches, neighborhood design, community building or something else, you are welcome to comment above (just below the post title).

http://www.lundquistcompany.com/blog The Relevance of the Front Porch for a Community

A Legacy for Our Children by Ryan Lundquist

Fred had a big problem. He and his next door neighbor were in the habit of heated arguments, squirting each other with the water hose, and even on the verge of fist fights. These two men despised each other. Fred was in the thick of a worst-case scenario situation where moving to another neighborhood seemed inevitable. He clearly had some issues to work on, but the real question I wonder about was what his three daughters were learning from their Dad as they watched his belligerence toward the man next door.

What type of neighbor do you want your children to be one day? What are your hopes for them when they plant their roots in a community?

It’s easy to think of our children’s success in terms of academics, sports, a college education, and a good job. Certainly these are gauges for accomplishment, but let’s make sure that no matter what our kids do in life, that we teach them to be good neighbors for along the way. Passing on a value for neighborliness will give our sons and daughters an edge in the world because they will learn to grasp the importance of enjoying life with the people around them, solving problems, being considerate, and building social networks in the real world beyond Myspace and Facebook. If our kids watch us being friendly to residents, grilling steaks with people next door, taking in mail when neighbors are on vacation, or calling the police when seeing suspicious activity, they will discover something valuable: that relying on others is important, that people can be trusted, and that being connected to other residents is a dynamic part of what makes home feel like home.

At one time children readily learned to be great neighbors because there were different expectations. Kids were expected to be participants in their community, to be visible in the neighborhood, be outside until dinner was ready, and even be polite to other adults and families in the neighborhood (otherwise they’d discipline you too). But these days our society is increasingly more disconnected and people tend to not trust each other. Nowadays parents need to monitor closely where their children are and practically interview other households before letting their kids play together. Today’s children are often found inside glued to video games, television, or doing homework, all while getting less exercise and spending fewer moments outside in the tract. Overall it seems more challenging for parents to impart a lifestyle of neighborliness today because it goes against the grain of our society. But what will happen if we don’t? That’s the bigger question.

It’s rarely too late to pass on values or start over. Maybe your kids are nearly out of the house, long gone, or you are just getting started. No matter how old they are, think of the impact you can have while your kids or even grandkids watch you interact with people next door or hear about how you are finding simple ways to be involved in your subdivision. I think of two residents in my community, Georgia & Paul, who are 86 and 83 years old respectively. Six months ago they showed up for a neighborhood beautification project where residents painted an expansive wall to help curb tagging. What do you think Georgia and Paul’s children and grandchildren thought of them when hearing about the painting project? What values do you think Georgia and Paul were able to amplify for their family?

What will your legacy be?

http://www.lundquistcompany.com/blog  A Legacy for Our Children (from Community Building 101 Series)

Below is an article I wrote in a series entitled “Community Building 101” (pdf file). “The Art of Hospitality” is the last article in this mini-essay series and I wanted to share it here on my real estate appraisal blog because life is not just about the value of our houses, but the quality and value of the relationships we have, even in our neighborhoods. Eating with neighbors is one of the the most profound but simple ways we can build a better community.

The Art of Hospitality by Ryan Lundquist

What is the best dining experience you’ve ever had? A few years ago I ate at a joint in San Francisco called Asia De Cuba. This fusion restaurant had spectacular ambiance and the feel of a hip club with its dim lights, pulsating beats, trendy décor, and exotic menu. Our group enjoyed four hours of eating and sitting together and we were never rushed to leave. The bill was substantial, but the unique experience was worth the high cost.

When guests leave my house after dinner, I want them to feel something similar. It would be great if they complimented the lavish food, stylish decorating, and festive atmosphere. That would be nice. I have a feeling though they’d more realistically say they’d eaten good non-gourmet food and felt mostly comfortable even though there were energized toddlers running around. Dining at the Lundquist home is not anything like an upscale restaurant, but that’s a good thing because practicing hospitality does not necessitate a gourmet experience.

There is something significant about welcoming others into our homes. When we ask people over we are giving them much more than a meal – we are inviting them into our lives. In an age of birthday card emails, drive-thru dinners, and brief cell phone interactions, it’s refreshing to sit down together for an unrushed hour or two and really get to know others. Sometimes though we think that being hospitable means we have to prepare the most scintillating dishes and spend all day cleaning the house. But it’s okay if the walls are not acid-washed, if toys are visible, and if there’s a stack of bills on the countertop. True hospitality is not about offering our guests perfection, but relationship. Sure, it’s nice to clean the house and spice up dinner a bit, but let’s remember that our guests are not customers to please but rather participants in a family meal. One of the most respectful things we can do is invite people into the life we really live. Besides, if we put so much effort into a meal we might exhaust ourselves and also cause our guests to feel intimidated about inviting us to their house.

Life is busy, so where do you find the time to eat a meal with others? Thankfully dinner is something that most of us do every night, so it’s just a matter of coordinating our schedules. If my household is eating dinner anyway and yours is too, it doesn’t seem all that overwhelming to combine efforts to dine together – especially on a weekend night. It always helps too to ask guests to bring a side dish or assist with preparation somehow.

The practice of hospitality is about sharing meals, but is more broadly about sharing our lives with people. This might seem like an odd topic to end a community building series, but by taking the initiative to invite other residents into our daily routines we can profoundly impact our neighborhoods. When we get intentional about helping our tracts become more connected like they used to be, we will begin to taste something wonderful – a sense of community.

http://www.lundquistcompany.com/blog  The Art of Hospitality: Having Neighbors Over for Dinner???

Strengthening a community simply recognizes that relationships rather than high fences are what is most important. The truth is you do not need ample time, money, grey hair, or incredible leadership skills to make a difference in your tract. You only need to be attentive to your surroundings and intentional in some very practical ways. This is about a mindset, a lifestyle, a paradigm to live from.

Connecting with neighbors can be something very natural and it happens over time. It is not something that you have to plan for per se or worry about adding to your busy schedule. Below are some practical tips to connect (or re-connect) with neighbors:

·         Sit out in your front yard or on your porch

·         Wave to passersby and say “hello” to people

·         Introduce yourself to new residents

·         Find a resident to exercise with

·         Volunteer to collect mail while your neighbor is gone

·         Borrow a tool or ask for advice

·         Keep your yard well kept

·         Invite a few neighbors to holiday parties

·         BBQ in your front yard with one other household

·         Do an Easter egg hunt for your street

·         Take regular walks (remember – dogs and kids are conversation magnets)

·         Exchange phone numbers with your neighbors in case of an emergency 

Most of life in a neighborhood consists of non-glamorous regular moments, but these small instances present opportunity for connection and are the building blocks for the future. Mother Teresa once said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” Now go and do small things.

What tips do you have to connect with neighbors?

NOTE: The entry above comes from a series I wrote in 2008, entitled “Community Building 101″. If you are interested in reading the series, you can download a PDF file HERE. You may wonder why an article on community building is showing up on a real estate appraisal blog. Well, this happens to be one of my big passions in life, but also the series could be helpful for some of us and maybe even Agents who are selling houses to first-time buyers in the Sacramento area. This series is one way to bring on conversation about what it can look like to increase a sense of connectivity in our neighborhoods. Living in a more vibant community makes a house feel more like home, huh? 

http://www.lundquistcompany.com/blog The Starting Line: Building Community in Sacramento Neighborhoods